Afraid

I wasn't honest with me.

I made you believe we could be something we know can never be 

I'm not who you think I am 

I'not who I think I am 

I'm not special 

My mind is always in the gutters and it drags my whole body with it 

I am afraid to live but I don't want to die 

I fight to free my kind from becoming who they hate or heal them from hating who they become 

l crave intimate solitude and a little show-off that I'm never ready for when it comes knocking.

I'm heading for the rocks, where only she can survive.