My Biggest Mistake

 

For the first time I have a different answer even in my head

For the first time I feel differently about the answer I often give when I'm asked this simple question

'How Are You'?

Even if I say the truth they wouldn't understand I tell myself, I chose to drown instead and tell me that all is well with a grin how I'm raised.

For the first time my soul feels the need to be free since there's no other way to less the pain like I always do.

Sing, well part of the gifts I came with but it doesn't work the hurt like it does to others.

So I sweat out the pain in dance and let the rest fly with the smoke of nature

I'M FINE my ultimate answer

It took one good experience of watchng people fall like flies and seeing that it could be me the next minute to realise how worthless life can be.

And since I couldn't sweat it out with my leg missing in action I resolve to tell me how I truly feel but realized I don't even know how I feel but I know MY SOUL IS BROKEN

The pain of accidents, rapes, betrayals, lack, wants, needs, unknown broken heart, I can go on and on but Nobody really cares so I kept them all bottle up inside knowing I'd probably never get the chance to have the feel of what 'Living' truly mean.

All I'm trying to say is that, the tears you tag of joy and the smile you wish you had were the only scenes I ever acted right.

But since you asked I'll take it that you care and for that, I think you deserve to know the truth even though you can do nothing to change that.

I'M NOT FINE.

But I had the chance to create better memories.

I didn't take it and that was

MY BIGGEST MISTAKE.